Summer Day

           Moment after moment flashes by, even now. I can pause, reach into the depths of my thought process, and reflect. But I can not live it again.
          Nathan writes beside me, and I feel guilty. The shame digs at my gut like a night-crawler. Ryann and I found two mating once. She poked it in her yellow clad boots and the two split, spiraling back into the ground a respective two inches away from one another. Is that what Nathan and I are to be seen as? Two overlooked life forms, desperate for an unknown emotion? Upon being discovered, will we retract from one another in fear? I hope not. I'm scared already.
         He's writing of his best memory of the summer. It's of the day I returned home from my long stint at RISD. I am not. I'm writing of how scared I am of the conflicting emotions and ambitions inside me, and whether he'll leave me or not. Simply an extension of my summer, that's all.
         They say that things never happen the same way twice. Gatsby proved it so, and Nick Carroway was the only one alive to repeat it after all was done. I can only recreate and improve. Am I okay with that?
          He's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. He says he loves me. I know I love him. Can he still love me even if I'm orientated towards a life he won't like? I'm only human, and I only know facts and feelings. I know I want him more than anything I've ever wanted before.

      And that's enough for me.